The Legend of Link: Ocarina of Time

[MFB]

EDITED, 6/02/05: It has cometh! Yeah, so basically I wanted to put it up here, and here it is! As of now the topic features only the title, contents, ratings, disclaimer, and the newly re-edited/extended Chapters I and II. Chapter III is going to be re-edited now and will be up hopefully before I move. Feel free to post in the review thread about the fanfiction and all, if you have any questions, for reviews, or just want to mention some obscure thing you liked. The fanficton is a humor/parody/action/adventure based on the game, "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time." Pretty much, it's based on humor, with action/adventure mixed in, most notably in Part III.

I decided to scratch the quotes. At least for here. I'm just going to post the unedited chappies one at a time. I lost track of what this was for: humor, not dark plot-lines.

The Legend of Link: Ocarina of Time

DISCLAIMER: All characters, places, names, and situations herein are © and ™ Nintendo, Tolkien Est., and all other respective owners. I do not claim ownership over anything/anyone within this fanfiction, and I publish this without any profit aside from the joy of entertaining others. However; I ask that you do not publish or post this fiction in part or whole without my written consent. Thank you very much for your co-operation.

Contents

Part I: A Hero Is Born…Sorta

I
A Hero Is Born…Sorta

II
The Digestive System of the Great Deku Tree

III
The Princess of Hyrule**

IV
Lost in the Lost Woods

V
Guards, Graveyards, and Gorons, Oh My!

VI
The Dodongo’s “Explosive” Cavern

VII
Freaky Fairies and Fat Farm Owners

VIII
Zora’s Many Bodies of Water

IX
Into ANOTHER Digestive System

X
To the Temple! (Fellowship Theme)

Part II: The Hero of Time

XI
The Hero of time

XII
The Scouring of the Forest

XIII
The Forest Fun House-I Mean Temple

XIV
Link, Link, and a Kid Who Thinks He’s Link

XV
The Forty-Five Level Fire Temple

XVI
Cold Caverns and Weird White Stuff

XVII
The Water “Teeter-Totter” Temple


Part III: The Great Cataclysm

XVIII
Shadow Rises

XIX
The Shadow Temple*

XX
Liberation of Lon Lon Ranch

XXI
Imprisonment and Rescue*

XXII
Pure Heart of a Child*

XXIII
Power Borne by a Hero*

XXIV
Princess Zelda Appears*

XXV
Ganon’s Castle*

XVI
Fulfillment of the Great Cataclysm*

XVII
Epilogue

[/i][/b][/size]

* Chapter under first composition.
**Chapter currently under 2nd+ re-editing.

Up to Chapter XIV, this fanfiction is rated PG for some vulgar humor, slapstick violence, some harsh/threatening dialogue (no bad words), and some battles with miniscule detailing. After Chapter XV, this fanfiction is rated PG-13 for some intense/scary descriptions, creatures, and sequences, in addition to the previous PG ratings. There is nothing in this (aside from slapstick/vulgar humor) that would not appear in a Tolkien fiction. [/center]

[MFB]

The Legend of Link: Ocarina of Time—Part I

Chapter I: A Hero Is Born…Sorta

A/N: Hey everyone! Chapter I is re-edited now! YAYNESS!! Anyway, read it and all, even if you already have. It’s gone through extensive re-editing, so it is very different. Review or criticize it if you want/can. Note that the history of Hyrule deals with “goddesses” and all that, so just know that its all just fiction…yeah, so don’t go thinking I believe in all of it even though it might sound like it. Nope, don’t care for it in the least. It just has to be said. Anyways, enjoy! =)


Before life began, before the world had form, three golden goddesses descended upon the chaotic land that was Hyrule. They were Din, goddess of power, Nayru, goddess of wisdom, and Farore, goddess of courage.

Din, with her strong flaming arms cultivated the land and created the red earth. Nayru poured her wisdom onto the earth to give the spirit of law to the world. Farore’s rich soul created all life forms that would uphold the law.

These three goddesses then returned to the heavens, leaving behind the golden sacred Triforce. Since then the Triforce has become the basis for Hyrule’s providence, and where the Triforce stood became the Sacred Realm.

If it were only a symbol of the gods, the Triforce would have been coveted by many. But a verse from the Book of Mudora made the Triforce even more desirable:

In a realm beyond sight,
The sky shines gold, not blue.
There the Triforce’s might,
Makes mortal dreams come true

War…was inevitable.

***

Hyrule was in a time of great strife and sorrow. Monsters roamed the land and war was common. No one was at peace with another. This was the age when all lusted after the Triforce. Men searched with evil desires in their heart for the Golden Land where rested the Golden Power: the Triforce. There was long war and bloodshed. The fights over the Triforce lasted what seemed as ages and became known as the Imprisoning War.

Then, those who’s hearts were not tempted by the Golden Power decided to act before Hyrule was utterly destroyed. These seven Wise Men of ancient times became known as the Sages, and their number was chosen for each race of Hyrule at that time: one for the Gerudos, thieves of the desert, one for the Gorons, people of the mountain, one for the Zoras, guardians of the waters, one for the Kokiri, the children of the forest, one for the Sheikah, those who lived in the shadows, one for the Hylians, the and one for the ancient Hylias, the chosen race of the gods. Among other protections, these Sages built the Temple of Time over the Gate to the Golden Land, and began to forge a key to lock the Gate with, thus preventing anyone from entering. The magic prowess of that age was far more powerful than any other in the history of Hyrule, and with that power the Sages forged a Blade which evil would never bear, and christened it the Master Sword, the Blade of Evil’s Bane. Into the Blade the Sages gave the power to repel evil, and so, evil would never be able to enter into the Golden Land. But they did not stop there. The Ancient Ones gave the Blade another quality: it could only be borne by one whose heart was deemed worthy; it could only be borne by the Hero of Time, prophesized to appear when Hyrule was approaching its darkest hour. Thus, through these powers, the Blade became the main key to the Golden Land and could only be opened by the Hero chosen by fate.

With confidence that the Blade would stand in defense of the Golden Land through all time, the Sages put the Blade into the Pedestal of Time, and closed the Door of Time, to which the keys were placed among the races of Hyrule. But one Sage, devoted to their cause more than all the others, volunteered to remain inside the Chamber they had built, so as to be the last guard of the Triforce if need should ever come for it. So the others, at his request, locked him inside the Sacred Realm, and with that, the Sages returned from their deed, finally able to rest in peace, as so did Hyrule shortly afterwards. Prosperity flourished, homes were rebuilt, villages, remade, and the kingdoms of the present were founded during this time.

The powers of evil, however, were never to be at peace. It grew to hate and despise that Blade which was the only thing between them, the Triforce, and dominion of the world. Evil men, in their rage, killed off the Sages who had forged the Blade, and continued throughout history to spread death and despair throughout the world, even killing off the entire tribe of the Hylias, and with it came the fall of the ancient arts. Magic dwindled and invaluable lore and scrolls were lost, many of which were vital prophesies made by ancient Sages. But never could anyone completely kill the line of the Sages, in whose blood still rested the ancient magic powers that the original Wise Men had possessed. Those descendants would become vital to the fate of Hyrule, for years afterwards, a dark power rose from the tribe of the Gerudo, now known to bring forth men of evil hearts. A man named Ganondorf came to Hyrule Castle one day with a shadowed purpose. Tragedies and bloodshed soon broke out. It was evident that Hyrule was unsettled. But throughout all of Hyrule, only few knew that the prophesized time had come and the Hero would soon rise and set out on his journey…the journey that would decide the fate of all Hyrule. The time of Hyrule’s darkness was fast approaching…<br>

***

In the eastern lands of Hyrule, nestled among the vast forest of trees, there was the village of the Kokiri, the children of the forest. It was considered the greatest luck if one could catch a glimpse of one of the fairy children. They were known to appear seldom outside of the forest, for they were told that if one were to leave, death would follow them quickly; and the same fate would befall anyone who entered the forest from the outside. Each one of these children possessed a guardian fairy that was entrusted with the task of protecting their Kokiri child throughout their life. The father of the forest, the Great Deku Tree, kept watch over the innocents of the forest. But his strength currently waned, and he called upon his most trusted fairy, appointed for a task that would determine the fate of the world.

Great Deku Tree: Navi…where art thou? Come hither…<br>
The Great Deku Tree, the oldest being in the world, was a giant tree with bark as hard as rock. He had features that appeared as a face, with eyebrows, a mouth, and a huge nose. He called now, with a raspy voice, for his trusted fairy, Navi. She was a bright, bluish ball with wings, a strange sight yet coveted by many. As she flew into the clearing of trees she beheld the Great Deku Tree in a sickly state. He did not look healthy to her.

Navi: Great Deku Tree, you called?

Great Deku Tree: Navi, dost thou sense it, the violent climate that even now pervades to attack this sanctuary of the forest?

Navi gives the Great Deku Tree a look that suggests that she thinks he’s crazy.

Navi: Nooooooo…what are you talking about?

Great Deku Tree: Do you not feel it in your heart? Malevolent forces, even now, are mustering to attack this land of Hyrule.

Navi: Are you ok, Great Deku Tree? Are you doing that role-playing thing again?

The Great Deku Tree ignores the small blue-hued fairy and continues with a misty look in his eye.

Great Deku Tree: For so long…as long as I can remember, the Kokiri Forest has stood as the source of life, deterring outsiders and maintaining the order of the world.

Navi (in an undertone): To me it’s more like a school ground for a bunch of bratty kids…<br>
Great Deku Tree: NAVI!

Navi (quickly): AHHHH!!!! I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!!! I WAS JUST JOKING!!!!

Great Deku Tree: Why art thou flustered? I only need you to do me a favor.

Navi takes a big sigh of relief.

Navi: Whew! It’s nothing. What do you want, O wise one of old bark!

Great Deku Tree: It has begun…the Great Cataclysm. *sigh* It is time for the boy without a fairy to begin his journey; the journey that will decide the fate of the world.

Navi stares in shock for a moment.

Navi: G-Great Deku Tree, what do you mean? The Great Cataclysm…that refers to the Hero. Do you mean that the b--

Great Deku Tree: There is no time, Navi. All will be explained for you eventually. Now, bring the boy to me. I have not much time left.

Navi looks at the Great Deku Tree in confusion.

Navi: You have no time left? Great Deku Tree…<br>
Great Deku Tree: Fly, Navi, fly! The fate of the forest, nay, the world depends upon thee!

Navi: Ok, I’m going!

***

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

[MFB]

A young boy lay in a small bed in the back of the tall tree-house. His golden-blonde hair waved softly from the wind which blew in through the open door. He wore the usual green outfit that Kokiri had come accustomed to: a tunic and a hat with a pointed end. If he were awake, his vivid-blue eyes would have been apparent. He had the pointed ears that all Kokiri had, as well as the other races of Hyrule. But although he appeared as an average Kokiri, there was one thing that was very different about him. Every Kokiri had a fairy, but he had none, a fact he often lamented. He was teased about it, pushed around because of it, and disrespected because he had no fairy. He was the misfit of Kokiri Forest.

Another thing bothering him, but only more recently, were the frequent nightmares he was having. Every night as he closed his eyes, the same scene would appear: a rainy night, clouded in shadow; a stone bridge in front of him with a giant drawbridge would lower to allow a white horse across; a fleeting glimpse of a young girl on horseback; a man with black armor riding a giant dark horse; the man would raise his hand; a flash of white light, and the dream was over. The boy had not had a peaceful sleep for weeks. And woven in and out of the nightmare he would hear his name called over and over; by men, women, and creatures, few of which he knew. Over and over…Link, Link…<br>
Navi: LINK!!! Wake up!

Link (sleeping): No! Not the man with the big nose!

Navi: Hey, sleepy bum! I’m telling you to wake up!

Link (still sleeping): Five more minutes mommy.

Navi: No you can’t have five more minutes, and don’t call me mommy!

Link (still asleep): Please, mommy?

Navi: No! And stop calling me mommy!

Navi starts to shake Link.

Navi: HEY! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!

Link (still sleeping): I don’t wanna go to school today mommy!

Navi: STOP CALLING ME MOMMY!

(Pause)

Link (still sleeping): Ok mom.

Navi: ARGHH!!!

Navi then grabs the pot on the table and throws it at Link. She misses and it goes out the window.

Bacon Kokiri (from outside): Hey! You knocked over my bacon!

Link (now FINALLY awake): Bacon? Where?

He sees Navi.

Link: AHHHHH!!!! Firefly! Kill it, kill it, kill it!

He starts to whack Navi with his pillow repeatedly.

Navi: Stop it!

She grabs the pillow from Link and whacks him in the head.

Link: Ow.

Navi: Now listen! The Great Deku Tree has summoned you, so you have to come with me!

(Pause)

Link: Why?

Navi: Because the Great Deku Tree said so, and he’s the boss.

(Another pause)

Link: Why?

Navi: Just because! Now come on!

Link (energetically): Ok!

Link exited his door and walked out into the brisk forest morning. The sun was softly warming the boughs of the trees and the wind waved quietly through the air. The Kokiri Forest was the home of Kokiri. Their village was made entirely from materials gathered in the forest. Their houses were carved out of giant stumps and they lived off the fruits of the trees. Outside, Kokiri could be seen hard at work (forced by the town bully, Mido), playing with the glowing organisms floating through the air, working out in the local training ground, or just plain hanging out.

Link climbed down the ladder and was greeted by Saria, a girl with green hair, green boots, a green skirt and shirt, and a green headband. If only her eyes and skin were green she would be like the Hulk, albeit a substantial amount smaller. She was Link’s one friend, and the only Kokiri who didn’t tease him for being fairy-less.

Saria: Hi Link!

Link: Hey Saria, look at my new fairy!

Link grabs Navi in a tight grip and holds her out.

Link: See.

Navi says in a muffled voice,

Navi: Hey! Let go of me! I’m not an object for display! And who said YOU owned ME?

Saria: Wow! That’s great Link! I’m so happy for you!

Link: Yeah, I know, I’m happy for me too. Now Mido can’t tease me about having no fairy! Ha!

Mido: Hey Mr. No Fairy!

Link: Oh great.

A boy came strutting over to them, shaking the ground as he went. He was Mido, a Kokiri child with an unusually enormous girth. He featured repulsive blonde hair, with eyes that were hidden by his fat cheeks so that you could not determine the color of them. But most noticeable was the snout-like nose that remarkably resembled the nose of a pig. He was considered the village bully, and he had a noted dislike of Link. Maybe it was because he had no fairy, but it could also be because he had a certain liking for Saria, who had a certain disliking for him, but an attachment to Link. So there was a triangle of liking and disliking. Kinda like a soap opera…except without all of the stupid-ness of it…and the emotional weirdness…<br>

Mido (who has a slow, deep voice): Hey, what’s that you got there?

He tore Navi out of Link’s hands, nearly breaking her wing.

Navi: Hey! Stop! That hurts!

Mido dropped Navi in surprise, his piggish eyes as wide open as he could make them.

Mido: A fairy!?

Link made a proud face.

Link: Yeah. No more Mr. No Fairy for me!

Mido quickly realized how dumb he looked (I mean dumber than usual) and changed his face into an angry one.

Mido: Who did you steal this from?

Link (bewildered): No one. I didn’t steal it.

Saria: He’s right! The Great Deku Tree sent her to him!

Mido: No way! No one, not even the Great Deku Tree, would just give a fairy to a worthless runt like him!

Link gave Mido a threatening look.

Link: Say that again Mido. I dare you.

Mido: You’re a worthless, fairy-stealing runt, and you look like Peter Pan!

Link: That’s it!

Link made an attempt to tackle Mido, but Mido jumped out of the way with Navi still in hand. Link fell to the ground with a thud.

Mido: Ha! Can’t even tackle properly! I think I’ll just take this fairy and find out who it really belongs to!

Mido ran off with Navi and disappeared.

Link: Ouch, my head! Great! Now he’s got my fairy!

Saria: Maybe you should go and get her back?

Link: And suffer another head injury? I think not!

Saria: You could just ask politely.

Link: Or I could find a sword and shield that have been hidden deep in the forest for many years, cut the belt to Mido’s tunic resulting in his underwear being revealed in public to all the Kokiri and making him completely humiliated which would throw off his guard just long enough to get my fairy back and continue on with my destiny.

Saria: Or you could do that.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

[MFB]

Link knew where he could get the shield: at the local mart. As he walked in, he spotted the wooden shield on the highest counter. He walked up to the counter, and put his forty rupees on it, the currency of Hyrule.

Link: Gimme the Deku Shield.

Kokiri Merchant: Say please!

Link (monotonously): …Please.

The Kokiri Merchant handed Link the shield. He quickly strapped it on and headed off to the training ground, rumored to hold an ancient treasure of the forest: the Kokiri Sword. He had never explored the training ground before. Why would anyone want to spend their time training when you can play? But he came there now to gain the item that would allow him to avenge his humiliation and to rescue his newfound fairy.

Link: Now where is this sword…<br>
Random Kokiri Stander-By: HEY!

Link: AHH! Who are you?

Random Kokiri Stander-By: I’m Random Kokiri Stander-By of course! You want the Kokiri Sword?

Link: Yeah! Do you know where it is?

Random Kokiri Stander-By: No, but I’ll bet they do!

He points to a house that reads: Know-It-All Brothers.

Link: Well of course they know where it is! They know-it-all! You think I’m stupid?

Random Kokiri Stander-By: Yes, actually! AHAHAHAH!!! *poof!*

And Random Kokiri Stander-By disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Link: …(energetically) Ok!

Link entered the Know-It-All Brother’s house and walked up to the first one he saw.

Link: Hey, I need--

Know-It-All Brother #1: You need to know where the Kokiri Sword lies, do you not?

Link: Yeah…but how did you know?

The Know-It-All Brothers let out a torrent of laughter.

Know-It-All Brother #1: We know-it-all, remember.

Link: Oh…good point.

Know-It-All Brother #1: It’s behind a hole in the Training Ground area. Watch out for danger, though!

Link: Thanks!

Know-It-All Brother #2: Now get going! Go save your fairy and defeat Ga--

Know-It-All Brother #3: Shhh…he doesn’t know about that yet!

Know-It-All Brother #2: Ah, yes, I knew that! Hohoho!

The Know-It-All Brothers begin to crack-up once more.

Link: Thanks for the help guys!

Link exited the house and headed for the hole. He found it quite quickly and had no trouble fitting through it. He skipped in a jolly way through a series of corridors, and then a giant boulder came from nowhere and began chasing him throughout the halls.

Link: AHHHHH!!!

Her ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and took a few turns, then ended up in front of a chest.

Link: Oh…how convenient!

As he opened it, a green light emerged and a strange music began playing from afar. He bent over the giant chest, grabbed an object from inside, and emerged with…<br>
Music: Dud u da duuuuuuuuuuu!!!!

Link: Yay! The Kokiri Sword!

Link now had the sword and shield that have been hidden deep in the forest for many years and went to “talk” to Mido, cleverly hiding his sword behind his back.

Link: Hey Mido, old buddy!

Mido: You again, Peter? What is it this time?

Link (wearing a grin that he couldn’t contain): I was just wondering, do you wear boxers or briefs?

Mido: What the heck? What are you-AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Link had swiftly sliced Mido’s belt and his tunic was now lying at his feet. All the Kokiri nearby started laughing.

Link (Trying hard to stop laughing): Ok, briefs.

Link took advantage of Mido’s shock and grabbed Navi from his fat hand. Mido, coming back to his senses, ran back to his house screaming.

Mido: AHHHHHH! MOMMMMMYYYYYYY!

Link: Shield-40 rupees. Sword-200 rupees. Cutting down Mido’s pants-priceless.

Navi: There are some things money can’t buy,

Link: For everything else, there’re bushes.

Navi: Ok, we’d better get going. The Great Deku Tree will be waiting for us.

Link (reluctantly): All right, I’m coming.

END OF CHAPTER

[MFB]

Chapter II: The Digestive System of the Great Deku Tree

A/N: Yeah, so here's the re-edit of Chapter II. Like the first, it has gone through extream editing. So read even if you read the first. In fact, this one is the second longest chapter I've ever written. 4000 words for one chapter--that's a lot! Anyway, be critical with me on these chapters. Seeing as they're re-edits, the SHOULD be better. But there are a lot of moments, especially in this one, that are not humorous, but rather, emotional. I'll let you be the judge. ;D Enjoy! ;D

As soon as Link and Navi set off, it was not long before they got lost. Deep in the forests of the Lost Woods, they argued on whether or not they were indeed clueless on their location…<br>
Navi: I thought you knew a shortcut!

Link: I do! It just takes awhile.

Navi: Do all your shortcuts take 2 hours?

Link: No! None of them do! They all take exactly 1 hour 59 minutes.

Navi: So, basically 2 hours.

Link: No, 1 hour and 59 minutes!

Navi: 2 hours!

Link: 1 hour and 59 minutes!

Navi: 2 hours!

Link: 1 hour and 59 minutes!

Navi: 2- wait a second, haven’t we been here before?

Link: Maybe.

Navi: Yes we have! See, there’re our footprints!

Link: You mean MY footprints. You don’t have feet!

Navi: Yeah, well I’m not the one who got us lost, now am I moron!

Link: We’re not lost! I know exactly where we are!

Link looks around, confused.

Link: Um…<br>
Navi: Don’t tell me, we’re lost.

Link (energetically): Yep! Guess so!

Navi: So aren’t you gonna find a way back?

(Pause)

Link: Why?

Navi: Because the Great Deku Tree is waiting for us!

(Another pause)

Link: Why?

Navi: Because…actually, I don’t even really know.

(Another pause)

Link: Why?

Navi (Ignoring Link): I…I’m kinda afraid for him. He didn’t look well when I left… he might be sick…and if he is he’ll need our help…<br>
(Yet another pause)

Link: Why?

Navi: Will you just shut up already! If we don’t help him he might die!

(ANOTHER pause)

Link: So?

Navi: ARGHHH! Just do it!

Link (energetically): Ok!

So after a LONG search to find a way back, they are now on the correct path to the Great Deku Tree.

Link: La di da!

As soon as Link took foot into a corridor that was veiled by trees, three wild Deku Babas, creatures that resembled Venus Fly Traps on long stems, emerged from under the earth and began to snap their mouths in a horrible fashion.

Link: AHHHHH! MOMMY! Don’t let them kill me!

Link curls up into a ball and hides in a corner.

Navi: Get up you big baby! They can’t even move!

Link: Huh, what? Oh, I knew that all along! (Using a formal voice now) Ha, weak inferior beings! Now that you have aroused the anger of the great Link, you shall die! I can already sense your fear!

The Deku Babas continue to snap their mouths, taking no notice of what Link just said.

Link: Resistance is useless! Now DIE!

Link cuts the stems of all three plants and they fall to the ground, lifeless.

Link: Muhahahaha!

Navi: Freak.

Link now marches to the Great Deku Tree’s meadow with Navi following close behind.

Link (still in his formal voice): Great Deku Tree, I have come!

Great Deku Tree: Ah, Link, welcome. Navi, thou hast done well. Now, both of you listen well to what I have to say; the words of the Great Deku Tree.

The Great Deku Tree seems to drop his eyes low and speaks in a prophetic voice.

Great Deku Tree: Hyrule is overshadowed…the time of prophesy is soon to be fulfilled. Link, thy slumber these past moons must have been restless, no doubt.

Link (confused with an overload of fancy words): Wait a second! Are you telling me you know about my nightmares?!

Great Deku Tree: I am the Father of the Kokiri; I must know my children’s troubles.

Link looks around expecting a group of Kokiri to come barreling out laughing at him.

Link (in a cautious whisper): You…you didn’t tell anyone…did you?

Great Deku Tree: To be honest, my sons, the Know-It-All brothers recounted to me this fact. I am very thankful for their breadth of knowledge.

Link (slapping his forehead): Darn it! I forgot about them! They’ll tell anyone everything they know if they have the chance! Great…now I’m done for…<br>
Great Deku Tree: Be not ashamed, young Link. You are not the only person to have nightmares of this sort. As the climate of evil grows and expands, it affects those who are sensitive to it. Verily, thou hast felt it.

Link: I’m not sensitive! I’m about as un-sensitive as you can possibly be! I’m tough!

Navi: Puth. Suuuure, Link.

Great Deku Tree: It is this growing evil that is spreading throughout our beloved Hyrule. Even now, it has broken through the forest barrier and entered into this very hollow as of the previous day.

Navi breaks into the conversation, disturbed at what had just been said.

Navi: Great Deku Tree! You mean someone came here, to this very spot?! Why was I not told?

Great Deku Tree: I did not wish for you to worry, my young fairy. You are easily roused to anger and often worry overmuch. I did not want you to hurt yourself. But now there is no point hiding it: I have been cursed. Even now, I am slowly dying.

Navi looks at the Great Deku Tree in shock.

Navi: I knew it! You were hiding it from me, but I could tell you were sick from the start!

Great Deku Tree: I am sorry, Navi. It was necessary that I hid it from you until now. Link, do you understand now why I have called you here? I need you break the curse with your wisdom and courage. I am confident that you can achieve this task, but are you confident in yourself?

Link: Well I am courageous. Ok, I’ll tackle this little curse of yours, Great Deku Tree.

The Great Deku Tree opens his mouth.

Great Deku Tree: Then enter, brave Link, and thou too, Navi.

Link: Wait, whoa, whoa! You mean I have to go inside you?!

Great Deku Tree: Yes. The cause of my curse rests within me. To break it you must defeat the cause.

Link: Oh, I know what’s going on! You rigged up this whole thing because you wanted an easy snack, didn’t you? Well I ain’t falling for it, barkbreath! No one’s eating me!

Navi: Link, stop it. Just do what he says.

Link: So you’re in on it too! What, did he promise you the head or something? That’s it! I’ve had enough of this!

Link starts to walk away when something grabbed him by the leg.

Link: AHHHHH! IT’S GOT ME!!!!

He looked down to see one of the Great Deku Tree’s branches around his ankle.

Great Deku Tree: You must forgive me, Link. But it is necessary for the fanfiction to continue.

Link: NO! YOU EVIL TREE! YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

Link was about to grab his sword when 2 more branches grabbed his arms.

Link (glaring monotonously at the tree): Cheater.

Then the Great Deku Tree threw Link inside his mouth and Navi went in after him.

Link: NOOOOOO!

Then the mouth closed shut.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

[MFB]

Link: I officially hate trees. Never mention the word “tree” ever again, especially ones that can talk and like to eat cute little boys.

Navi: Tree.

Link (giving Navi an evil look): I hate you.

Navi: HEY!

Link: What?

Navi: LISTEN!

Link: I already was.

Navi: LOOK!

Link: AT WHAT!?

Navi: I think you can break through this web if you fall from a high place.

On the floor was a web of a gigantic size that closed off the hole beneath.

Link: Or I could just do this.

Link takes out his sword and cuts the web open.

Navi: Hey! That’s not the way it’s supposed to go!

Link: Well that’s the way it’s gonna be, so get used to it!

Navi (giving Link an evil look): I hate you.

Link then jumped down into the water below, and Navi fluttered down after him. Well, at least he thought it was water.

Link: Yuk! What the heck is this stuff? Ach! It stings!

Navi: Well, what’s inside of your stomach?

Link: Ouch! Hot! Get me outta here!

Link quickly jumped out of the acidic liquid and ran into the nearby door.

Link: Blecch! Gross!

Link was shaking off the stomach acid when a nut came out of nowhere and hit him.

Link: Ow! What the?

He looked around and saw a small creature looking strait at him. It was a lone Deku Scrub, a creature resembling a bush. Where there would normally be the stump, there was a face with red eyes and an enormous, round snout, out of which it could fire Deku Nuts: its only defense.

Link: Oh, so you’re the smart guy who thought it’d be cool to hit me with a nut, huh?

The Deku Scrub stared back, innocently.

Link: Well I’ve got news for you, DIE!

Link charged at the scrub, but it ducked into the ground and Link went slamming into the wall.

Link: OUCH!

The scrub then popped back out and shot Link in the butt with a nut.

Link: OW! Hey! I’m gonna kill you scrub!

The scrub makes an evil little giggle and pops back in its hole.

Link: Yeah, right. Like that’s gonna work this time!

Link goes over and grabs the scrub by the…hair? Anyway, he pulls him up out of the ground.

Deku Scrub: Ow! I’m sorry mister! If you let me go I’ll never do it again!

Link: Yeah right! Like I’m supposed to trust you!

Deku Scrub: Ok, and I’ll give you a clue of how to beat my brothers up ahead.

Link: And?

Deku Scrub: *Sigh* Ok, and I’ll give you a really cool slingshot.

Link: Cool! All right, it’s a deal!

Deku Scrub: Ok, in order to beat my brothers up ahead you’ll have to beat them in the proper order. The order is, 2-3-1.

Link: Ahem!

Deku Scrub: *sigh* Fine.

The Deku Scrub tosses his beloved slingshot at Link. Link catches it in his hand and holds it above his head.

Music: Du du da duuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!

Link: Yay! The Fairy Slingshot! Ok, Navi. Let’s go!

Link and Navi reached the scrub’s room, where they found three Deku Scrubs sitting around a blank television, all eating popcorn. All of a sudden, the three burst out laughing.

D.S.#2: Hahaha! That’s so funny!

D.S.#1: Yeah, it is.

D.S.#3: Wait! Here comes the good part!

(Pause)

D.S. #s 1, 2, and 3: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Link: Whatcha watching?

D.S.#3: The TV.

Link: Ooooo! I love this channel!

He sits down with the scrubs.

(Pause)

All four of them: Ahhhhhhh!

D.S.#2: Boy! That was scary!

Link: Yeah, it was! I nearly wet my pants!

D.S.#1: I really wet my pants!

D.S.#3: You don’t have any pants.

D.S.#1: Oh…woops!

Navi: Ahem!

Link: What?

Navi: Don’t you have something to do?

Link: Navi, c’mon! It’s the best part!

(Long Pause)

Link: Wow….that was an awesome movie. That part where he does that triple, spinning back flip onto the truck was just-

Navi: LINK!!!!

Link: Oh, fine. Hey guys, which one of you are scrubs 1, 2, or 3?

D.S.#1: Well, he’s number 2, I’m number 1 and that guy’s number 3.

Link: Thanks.

He takes out his slingshot and shoots them in the proper order.

D.S.#2: Ow.

He freezes.

D.S.#3: Ow.

He freezes.

D.S.#1: Ow.

He starts hopping around the room. Link goes over and grabs him by the…hair?

D.S.#1: Ouch! Hey, that hurts! If you let me go I’ll tell you how to beat Queen Ghoma.

Link: I think I’ve got a better idea. (He drags him over to the door.) How about you beat her for me?

Link shoves him in the door and goes in after him.

D.S.#1: NOOOOOO!

The door slams behind them. Inside, there was a huge room with large columns that reached up to the ceiling. The floor was covered in fog. Then from the ceiling fell Queen Ghoma, a humongous arachnid that was the preserver of the Great Deku Tree’s curse. The Deku Scrub, frightened out of his wits, could do nothing but pelt the Queen with nuts.

Link (sitting on a folding chair while eating some popcorn): Ha! Not so tough when you don’t have your little holes to hide in, now are you?

Ghoma is lying on the floor stunned but the scrub isn’t doing any real damage to her. Then he runs out of ammo.

D.S.#1: Oh shoot!

Link: Well you can’t so ha!

Ghoma comes back to her senses and squashes the scrub like a bug. She then turns to Link.

Link: What a loser! Ok your highness, let’s go!

He tosses some popcorn at her eye, which makes her stop to rub it. Link quickly runs up and slashes at it, and after a few swings she lays at his feet.

Link: Wimp.

A blue light appears after Link defeated the Queen. He walked into it and was teleported back to the Great Deku Tree’s Meadow.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

[MFB]

Great Deku Tree: Well done, Link! Thou hast valiantly demonstrated thy courage.

Link: Yeah, I know.

Great Deku Tree: Now listen carefully; a wicked man of the desert cast this curse upon me. This man ceaselessly uses his vile, sorcerous powers in his search for the Sacred Realm. For there, it is said, rests the Triforce, which contains the essence of the gods. Thou must never allow that man with his evil heart to enter the Realm of Legend. If he were to claim the Triforce he would use its power to his own end, dooming Hyrule to a fate of barrenness.

Navi: Great Deku Tree, why did this man cast the curse on you? Why would he do something like that?

Great Deku Tree: He lusted after this.

The Great Deku Tree rustles some of his branches and out falls a green and shining stone.

Great Deku Tree: This is the Kokiri’s Emerald; the Spiritual Stone of the Forest; one of three keys to the Door of Time. I have guarded this stone since I was but a young sapling. This is what that man so wanted that he cast the death curse upon me. Because of that curse, my end is nigh.

Navi: W-what?! G-Great Deku Tree…you…you’re still going to die!!!

Link: Why did I have to go in there then?!

Navi: Great Deku Tree! You can’t die!

Link: …excuse me, I just asked a question!

Great Deku Tree: Yes, Navi, I will pass away soon. But do not grieve for me. I have been able to tell you of these important matters.

Link: …Why is everyone ignoring me…<br>
Great Deku Tree: Link, I want you have this stone.

Link: Me? Why are you giving this to me?

Great Deku Tree: Because you are special, Link. When you were young, I saw that you would someday play an important part in the history of the world. The time has come for you to play out this part. Link, you must go to Hyrule Castle. There you will surely meet the Princess of Destiny. She will know all about this matter and will instruct you further.

Link: I…have to leave the forest? Won’t I die? No Kokiri can leave the forest…you said so yourself!

Great Deku Tree: Do not worry, young Link. All will be well.

Link lowers his face with a hesitant and sad look on it.

Link: …then…but…<br>
Great Deku Tree: Link…I know you are not wanting to leave the forest. Had there been a way to bypass this whole ordeal, I would gladly have taken it. There is nothing I would rather have than your safety. But my child, you are the only one who can free Hyrule from its awful fate. You, Link…are my only hope…the only hope that this old tree has…that after my death, Hyrule will not fade into nothingness…and that there will be…peace.

Link looks up at the Great Deku Tree. He had seen the Deku Tree before, but only a few times. He had never seen him this way, nor heard that he had even been so distressed. For the first time in Link’s young life, he felt…sad; sad for this old Tree who was doomed to die. And the way he spoke to him…was so caring and heartfelt, like a parent; something that he had never felt in his life.

Link: Ok…I’ll do it, Great Deku Tree. I…I won’t fail you.

Great Deku Tree: Thank you, Link. I am sure you will be able to carry out my will. Navi, this is my dieing wish: go with Link and aid him in his quest. He is young and has much to learn, and although you are but a novice guardian, I am sure the task will not prove to be beyond your abilities.

Navi: WHAT?! G-Great Deku Tree, why do I have to go with him!? Can’t…can’t you choose someone else?!

Great Deku Tree: I’m afraid that due to the mysterious powers of Game Programming, I cannot bend my will to anything outside this. I am sorry.

Navi: Y-yes Great Deku Tree…if it is the only way…and…and your last wish…I will follow it through to the end.

The Great Deku Tree begins to speak slower and softer. It is obvious that his last moments are at hand.

Great Deku Tree: Very good. Link…the fate of the world depends upon thee…thou…art…courageous. Navi…you know the gravity of the matters at hand…Link needs your assistance. You both are my…and Hyrule’s only hope…<br>
Navi: We won’t fail, Great Deku Tree…I promise.

The Great Deku tree smiles a bit.

Great Deku Tree: I…believe…in you both. Remember my last wish…I entreat…ye…Navi………Good-bye…<br>
The old Tree’s face was happy in his last moment. His leaves withered and darkened quickly; his bark shriveled and grayed; and then his face became motionless…<br>
Link and Navi both stood there for a moment and said nothing. Both felt sadness in their heart for the old Tree who had watched over them all their lives. Navi was the first to speak.

Navi: …Good-bye…Great Deku Tree…<br>
Link slowly walks away from the meadow and Navi follows, both full of grief and remorse. But they don’t get too far before someone stops them in their tracks.

Mido: You killed him, didn’t you!?!

Link: Mido, leave us alone.

Mido: You did! I knew it! That’s the last straw! You were always a little runt, but I had never thought you’d go so far as to kill off the Great Deku Tree! What did he ever do to you, huh? You…you’re a murderer!

Link: Mido, I didn’t do anything! I never would’ve killed him!

Mido: Your words mean nothing to me. You’re a murderer and a liar.

All the Kokiri come over to the scene.

Link: Stop calling me things I’m not. I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything to him!

Mido: Well he didn’t just die on his own! Everyone! Link here killed the Great Deku Tree!

All the Kokiri gasp and begin to mutter amongst themselves. Then a small Kokiri girl runs up to Link from the mob.

Saria: Link! What…what’s happening?

Mido (pointing at Link): HE killed the Great Deku Tree!

Saria looks at Link, then turns to glare at Mido.

Saria: He did not! Link would never do such a thing!

Mido stares blankly at Saria. He may have actually been trying to think of a good retort to that sentence. Puth, yeah right; Mido, thinking? Absurd; nevertheless, he responded in his usual dumb fashion.

Mido: Saria, he’s a murderer. You can see it in his eyes. He’s not one of us! He has to…leave!

All the Kokiri start angrily shouting their agreement with this statement.

Mido: And without the Great Deku Tree, we need someone of authority to run the forest…a Kokiri that can get rid of villains like this murderer. I can fill this part!

The Kokiri, so angry at Link, shout out their support for Mido, although a couple just laugh, thinking of Mido in his briefs. At that moment, Mido “officially” became their leader.

Mido: My first act as Kokiri Superior is to rid the forest of this creep. BEGONE!

Saria: Mido…you’re a rotten jerk! You can’t make Link go! He’ll die!

Mido: Then he’ll get what he deserves!

Saria stares helplessly as the Kokiri, in a furious rage, go up to Link and bat at him. Link defends from their blows as he runs off to his house to gather up his things for his long quest.

Saria: Mido, you bum! I’ll never forgive you for this!

And she, in turn, runs off to her house, leaving Mido there speechless from her disapproval of his actions. (Not like he’s normally a chatter-box anyway. He probably had that whole speech planned…if that is even possible for him.)

************************************************************************

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

[MFB]

Link looked around his house for anything else of value. He had scavenged up every small rupee and any other thing he thought might be useful for his quest. Now that he had gathered up what few things he had, he felt ready to face the long road ahead of him. He sneaked out of his tree-house quietly with Navi close behind, both hoping to avoid attention. That did little good: Mido was waiting for them.

Mido: Hey, you bum. Thought you could get away without a final word, huh?

Link: Mido, don’t you think you’ve embarrassed me enough?

Mido begins to circle around Link.

Mido: Oh, no I don’t think I have. Ever since you showed up, you’ve been the favorite of everyone: Saria, the Great Deku tree; they both picked you over me, and I’m sick of it!

Obviously, this was completely untrue. Link was not the favorite of everyone, but rather, was loathed by everyone, mostly because Mido threatened them if they thought otherwise of him, but also because he had had no fairy. Saria and the Great Deku Tree were the only ones who were friendly to Link. Nevertheless, Link chose to ignore that statement.

Link: You can’t force people to like you, Mido. Force isn’t the answer to everything. You rely too much on it, but I guess you have to since you don’t have much else.

Mido tried to decipher Link’s words into ones he understood, but could not understand what he was saying. He just decided to ignore him and continue on with his ranting.

Mido: You always had the things I wanted…it’s no fair. You were Saria’s favorite since forever, you get a fairy, supposedly, and then the great Deku Tree calls you? I should have been called to the Meadow! I wouldn’t have let him die!

Link: Mido…the task I have is not for you. The Great Deku Tree said so himself.

Mido ceases to circle Link and plants his feet in front of him.

Mido: I don’t care. You always lie. Why should I believe you? You were always a lying runt, and you always will be.

Link: That’s enough, Mido! I’m not just gonna sit here and let you insult me! I’m leaving!

Link walks past Mido and towards the exit to the forest. Mido stares at him with a furious look in his eye. Then he bolts out:

Mido: NO! I’ve waited too long to pulverize you! RARRRRRR!!!!!

Mido makes a savage leap at Link, his fist held outright. Link turns just in time to catch Mido’s arm. The two spin backwards on the ground. When they stop, Link has Mido pinned to the ground with his sword to the bully’s throat. Mido’s eyes reveal his utter fear. He had never been so close to death as this, and all his boasting and pride suddenly left him. Some Kokiri around stared at the scene in horror. They muttered to themselves, believing Link had attacked, that he was truly a ruthless killer as they had thought.

Mido: Y-y-you’re a…m-murderer! Y-you’re g-g-gonna…k-kill me, j-just like you d-did t-the G-great Deku T-Tree!!!

Link held his sword steadily in its position. His face showed a disgusted and angry look. He had him. All his life he had dreamed of besting Mido. He had been mocked and made-fun-of by Mido for all his life. To Link, he deserved to die, just as he had made him suffer many deaths of different sorts. All he had to do was thrust his sword…<br>
Link: No…I’m not.

Link lowered his blade and stood up. He sheathed it, shrugged his shoulders to adjust his scabbard, and slowly walked away as if nothing had happened. Mido, on the other hand, remained on the floor, terrified. He sat up, and looked around as if he had just woke up from a terrible nightmare. His eyes still showed his fear.

Mido: Did…did everyone see that?! That…that murderer tried to kill me!

The murmurs around continued. Was Link really a murderer? Did he really try to kill Mido? And if so, then why did he not? These things were questions they would ask long after the events of that day had been forgotten.

************************************************************************

Link now ran away from the forest. In some ways, he was glad to be leaving. He’d finally be free from Mido’s intimidating presence. He was now at the bridge that spanned the final gap of the forest. Once he crossed this bridge, he’d be out of the forest. But before he was completely across, someone called his name.

Saria: Link...so you’re leaving?

Link stops in surprise and turns around to see the little green-haired Kokiri. He slowly walks back towards her.

Link: Yeah…The Great Deku Tree said I must. There’s something I have to do.

Saria stares at the floor.

Saria: I…I always knew you’d leave the forest…because…you are different from me and my friends.

She raises her face and smiles at Link

Saria: But that’s ok, because we’ll be friends forever, won’t we?

Link looks at her with an isn’t-that-obvious kinda look.

Link: Saria…<br>
Saria: That was a pretty cool stunt you pulled off there.

Link: Oh…you saw it? Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Mido was totally afraid!

Saria: No, I mean that you let him go.

Link: Oh…that. Well, I wasn’t just gonna kill him there…I mean, I’m not that cruel…<br>
Saria smiles at Link once more.

Saria: That’s why I admire you, Link. You’re not like other people. You’re…different.

Link notices that she’s holding something in her hands. It’s a pale-colored instrument, made of clay.

Saria: Here…I want you to have this ocarina. Take it with you…and think of me when you play it.

Link smiled at Saria. He knew she loved to play her ocarina deep in the Lost Woods. It was her favorite pastime. He had often sat and listened to her as well. It was one of the only ways he could get away from Mido.

Link: Thanks…<br>
Saria smiles back at Link.

Saria: And when you come back to visit, we can play together! You…will come back to visit, won’t you?

Link’s smile fades. “Come back to visit”? He feared having to return to the forest after that scene. He slowly walked backwards, not sure of what to say.

Link: I…<br>
Then he suddenly turns around and runs out the forest. Saria faintly smiles.

Saria: …Good luck…<br>
END OF CHAPTER