Post by kanedbydemons on Jun 6, 2005 6:58:23 GMT -5
Yes, I know it's kind of depressing and not very well written. I need critique really, because poetry really is not my genre. I wrote this because one of my mum's friends lost her mother a while ago and she's been at our house a lot. This seemed to echo her mood.
Once.
I lived on a long street;
Trees beside the road as water ran
Softly, pouring down drains with a rustling sound.
The house pale and tall and bordered by our friends.
Leaves grew, and fell, and grew again
As they pattered the world with their beauty.
My world was with you, mama;
I loved you like nobody else.
When papa left I comforted you
And you held me close.
Once.
When I was young you said I would be safe;
You said you would protect me
From the world outside our home.
From papa, if he came again and was angry
Like he was when we saw him last;
Mama, you said you’d be there for me.
You said you’d give me everything and I said it too:
I love you, always will.
But now.
Now you’re gone and lost to me,
No longer living in our tall pale house.
Your home is no longer with me, though still
I stand and stare at your name written in stone.
Bordered by trees still, but these leaves whisper sadly
And I fancy I hear your voice.
Why?
Why did you have to leave me, mama?
Why did you have to go, to forever live beneath the ground?
I want you here, with me, safe forever.
But no more.
Lost, to me and to the world you’re lost,
But you’re safe beneath that cool earth that will protect you
And always will I come here, to speak to you and keep you safe.
Like I promised, forever ago.
Once.
I lived on a long street;
Trees beside the road as water ran
Softly, pouring down drains with a rustling sound.
The house pale and tall and bordered by our friends.
Leaves grew, and fell, and grew again
As they pattered the world with their beauty.
My world was with you, mama;
I loved you like nobody else.
When papa left I comforted you
And you held me close.
Once.
When I was young you said I would be safe;
You said you would protect me
From the world outside our home.
From papa, if he came again and was angry
Like he was when we saw him last;
Mama, you said you’d be there for me.
You said you’d give me everything and I said it too:
I love you, always will.
But now.
Now you’re gone and lost to me,
No longer living in our tall pale house.
Your home is no longer with me, though still
I stand and stare at your name written in stone.
Bordered by trees still, but these leaves whisper sadly
And I fancy I hear your voice.
Why?
Why did you have to leave me, mama?
Why did you have to go, to forever live beneath the ground?
I want you here, with me, safe forever.
But no more.
Lost, to me and to the world you’re lost,
But you’re safe beneath that cool earth that will protect you
And always will I come here, to speak to you and keep you safe.
Like I promised, forever ago.