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Post by SilverSergyon13 on Feb 10, 2005 23:00:10 GMT -5
I mucheth like the new ESPS story that hath been put up. I am very interested to see how I will come in. The reason I haven't said much of what I want to be exactly like or how I want to come in is because I want to see how YOU depict me (as a sergyon). If u need info bout the sergyon race just let me know. I have it all in my mind. lol
Don't worry, I know I'm crazy.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 12, 2005 10:49:23 GMT -5
ah, tis a very understandable thing. I think I've said you'll be in in a few chapters now. I think. In something not to serious like this I am allowed to chase the plot rather slowly.
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Post by MFB on Feb 12, 2005 13:59:39 GMT -5
Cy...you make me jealous. You've always been a better writer than myself, but before it had not been something I envied you for. Now I do. ;D That was awesome. All of it was prefect; not a dull moment. A little tiny bit of difficult reading, but that is drowned out by the coolness of it all. I hope someday I can write action scenes like that. I can't complain; I can't compliment; I can only barely comment. But I can shout out my fave parts! The part when the Nazgul came was awesome. I could imagine all these people running and screaming and us just standing there, blades drawn, ready to meet it...cept I had a dagger. LOLOLOLOLOL! A DAGGER!...priceless. "Black Rider!" cooolness. "KT was running forward with her violet lightsaber in hand, but MFB pulled her back with the widthless window onto Coruscant separating them from another thundering projectile." Awesomeness. I like that I mostly interact with KT. Makes perfect sense. “Hold on, he’s chucking bombchus.”<br> LOLOLOLOL! Priceless. “I can take it!”<br> Ah, KT, so brave. "MFB sighed. “You’ve got weapons, go on--” The twin took a tiny white knife from a pocket and held it out. MFB took the knife and dashed for the rider, ignoring Elan’s advice to save his own skin." Ah, MFB, so brave...with your little dagger. When KT saw MFB come toward the second fight she was whirling her lightsaber over her head, distracting the thing while Yaz leapt from Sauron to the flank of the rider-beast, stabbing with her little purplish lightsaber. Ah, THE, so brave. '“That’s not gonna work!” She called to either Yaz or this ridiculous idea of MFB fighting with that little knife.' LOLOLOL! I really need to get a weapon... ;D "...then slapped that arm against KT’s wavering Force shield. She felt herself propelled backwards few feet then fell against the virtual ground, and picked herself up unhurt." Ah, KT, so brave. lol I came up on one knee and drove the data-sword into the horse thing’s chest. Luckily, nothing graphic happened but it worked. The beast and rider seemed to digitize and shatter, little black shards of CG vanishing like drifting sparks. I sat down on the ground and realized how much I hurt." Ah, Cy, so brave. "MFB’s borrowed knife scraped along the rider’s armor with a sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. The rider just looked down at him with hidden eyes, and a thin wooden pole appeared in its hand and burst into flame." Yay! I get a fight...with a little dagger! lolol LOL! He has a Deku Stick...a Flaming Deku Stick! Coolness. "Link rapped his sword against the new-formed deku stick, and it cracked with a splintering sound but did not break." Ah, Link, so brave. Yeah, so pretty much...the whole thing. What can I say but: write more.
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Adui
Gherkin
randomness regular
Posts: 45
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Post by Adui on Feb 12, 2005 20:25:31 GMT -5
Cy: lol ah, so brave. I'm glad you likes it so! I was a little worried actually...but cool! I was wondering how to get you to have a weapon since somehow I doubted you'd carry one around.
THE: *scratches cy for a chance to type....* ah, so brave
Cy: don't envy me. we both have strengths in different places, different skills. as we said once before "genious HOW DO YOU SPELL GENUIS??
THE: *paste* GENUIS??GENUIS??GENUIS??GENUIS??GENUIS??
Cy: *shove* like that I think...anyway geniouses calling eachother geniouses, must mean something. Despite the fact that one of them can not spell either 'genious' or 'despite' and a combination of the keyboard cursee and THE's frantic modifications makes it to be dd opite
THE: *randomly shoves cy away*
CY:DEE OPITE!
THE: ooohhhh pasting... FUN! *paste* dd opitedd opitedd opitedd opitedd opite
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Post by MFB on Feb 12, 2005 20:37:30 GMT -5
lol I can't spell "genious" either...I believe it may be "genius," but AC, tis all cool. Hmmm...maybe that could be part of the plot. Either MFB's always getting these strange, random objects for weapons, or I get a REAL weapon, and It's all like when you get the Master Sword... Music: Dududududadadadadududududadadadadaaaaaa!!! DUUUU! DAAAAA!!! DUUUUU!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! MFB: *puls some awesome thing outta a pedestel* YAY! The... Random announcer dude: You got the Dumb Deku Stick of Whimpy-ness! Set it to (c) and it'll make stupid noises like some squeeky toy! Uses helium for inflation! MFB:
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Adui
Gherkin
randomness regular
Posts: 45
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Post by Adui on Feb 12, 2005 20:49:34 GMT -5
Hmmm...maybe that could be part of the plot. Either MFB's always getting these strange, random objects for weapons, MFB: *puls some awesome thing outta a pedestel* Cy: greatr plan! Well I was seriously debating bringing you to the dark side, but first you gotta have some episodes of random weapons and then find yours, at which point the music will go: music: DUDUDUDUDUUUUU!! *sign pops up* *not out loud* You have recieved the MFB weapon! No more coincidentally and plot-conducively taking others'! THE: zip + confused-- the words that were meant to be and weren't Cy: *shove* well now they have floated into the aether. So there. THE: dd opite ohhhh... *watches words float around above her head* Cy: *small shove* you said "ow!" before the foot-steping occured! *paste* dd opite THE: LOL! WRONG PASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EDIT! : THE: OW! *cy steps on foot!* ohhhh... *watches words float around above her head* Cy: *small shove* you said "ow!" before the foot-steping occured! *paste* OW! *cy steps on foot!* THE: LOL! WRONG PASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! end EDIT! THE: right paste! *paste* dd opitedd opitedd opitedd opite Cy: *hiss, shove* erm...forgot...WE ARE CLUTTERING THE BOARD!! THE (with an explination point) *shift* 1: lol-- so? together: this is like a co-auther talk but better! AND ITS SPELLED WRONG! YIPOPEI Cy: *shove* but i do not...we do not...exist....hmm....*ponders* THE: *while pondering shove* yippopeye! tis wrong! thats so fun-- T OTHE TISSUES! LOLLOLOOLOOLOLOLOL! ok-- longness end.
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Post by MFB on Feb 12, 2005 20:53:30 GMT -5
Coolio. Sounds awesome. Dark side, huh? Well, I guess I'll se how it all turns out. I'm in your hands, I suppose, lol.
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Adui
Gherkin
randomness regular
Posts: 45
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Post by Adui on Feb 12, 2005 20:59:35 GMT -5
Maybe dark side. Maybe
*pastepastepastepastepastepastepaste*
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 13, 2005 11:00:08 GMT -5
epic poem, MFB.
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Post by MFB on Feb 14, 2005 2:21:59 GMT -5
Thanks muchly. And that was what I meant by "I guess Ill see what happens." It'll keep me wondering throughout chappies "AHHH! AM I TURNING EVIL?!" lol
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Post by Kora on Feb 16, 2005 21:46:30 GMT -5
Oh Cy! That whole battle scene was totally epicness beyond kool-aid!
MFB, Coolnessnessness Randomness poem!
"It'll make you go- Whoa."
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Post by MFB on Feb 17, 2005 2:51:22 GMT -5
I reread the whole ESPS DijQuest, Cy, and it was much better than before. Maybe it's because I printed it and it felt more official..*shrugs* But after thinking, my last review was probably less than helpful aside from possible morale support that you already have. So in that light, I'll give my opinion of what I'd like to see the already epic ESPS fic become (not in any specific order): 1) More drama; it already has it, but more would be much liked beyond all things. You know how to do this stuff beautifully. 2) More fighting; you do this perfectly (as you already know). 3) Internal conflict; the dreadded internal conflict...hard to do in this sort of thing because it uses non-ficton characters. But all of us know this is fiction and should be taken as so. A good disturbence involving one of the ESPS; some internal strife; maybe a death or faked death (i.e., Frodo-esque)) would be some examples of what I mean. True fighting between members would be odd...like arguing and such. 4) Singular character development; not necessary so early on, as the story progresses, I'd like to see each character flesh out their own very distinct personalities. You already have this going in the last update, with the fight shifting from each characters, talking of their fights. But a lot of possibilities exist in this manner: a split up/pairing up of characters and having them go through different confrontations is a good way; or you could have certain chapters focus on one set character more than the others, etc. Cy, pf course, is the most believeable of character so far, and should be as the story is in her POV. Second is Yaz, who is quite active in the plot. The others, aside from the twins, have, so far, little impact on the plot, but as it is still in its early chapters, this is natural and ok. Later on I'd like to see more of this though. 5) More major villan appearances; again, so early on to think of this, but more main/secondary villan involvement would add inexplainable drama to the plot. A sudden turn of events; someone wounded/nabbed by the bad guy; a revealing of something deeper and darker, etc. This stuff is just my opinion. I know how annoying it is when other authors try to pour themselves into another's work. I'm sure you have so much epic stuff cookin' up for all us. And you still have to get Silver and Spaz in there, so my stuff is so much more secondary considering the plot has not yet fully fleshed out. Of course, this is all in addition to how your writing is already progressing; epic scene, filler; epic scene, filler; etc. at least, from what I've observed. Again, this is only my opinion, and not to be taken as as needed stuff. Just epic stuff.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 17, 2005 17:10:50 GMT -5
thanks a lot, that was all good. Actually, a lot of it I already thought about and am working on! You'll have to see what. I am working on inter-character conflicts, and characterization. I do fear to put to much RL-type drama in in case anyone takaes offense, but i can take it and make it into NON RL...
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Post by MFB on Feb 17, 2005 17:20:40 GMT -5
Awesomeness. Yeah, after writing it all I thought "you know, Cy probably already has a ton of this planned..." but AC. RL drama must enter somehow, I suppose, lest it appear to mechanical or unbelievable. Can't wait...and I mean that very sincerely.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 17, 2005 17:39:15 GMT -5
thanks. ;D I've got another 'talk-and-walk' or 'filler' going now and then PLOT comes and then...erm...that's the future. I really appreciate the support from all.
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Post by SilverSergyon13 on Feb 18, 2005 0:16:24 GMT -5
Can't wait to see how you characterize me.... ;D
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 18, 2005 16:45:36 GMT -5
neither can I. do I double post? No...I just read Duncariel's fic, and though i don't really understand the intended setting and such the writing itself was quite good. The emotion was there as well. It does something to the voice, when you're really connected...I think. Can anything about that be explained, Dun?
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Post by MFB on Mar 3, 2005 23:54:16 GMT -5
*deep breath* YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!1*shift*1!!!11@*shift*@!!1! ;D ESPS DijQuest!!!! ;D I saw the blue circle on the OF board as soon as I loggedon and jumped on it faster than you could say *THUD!* ;D Thoughts: Love the opening comming back. Much humor and fun. Plus the epic "Database #2. Compiled by the ESPS ghost 1.16.05. Modified by Cy Skywalker 2.24.05" adds a certain dramatic darkness to the beginning of the chappie. Character development. Need I say more? Twas epic and awesome. For a "filler" chappie, I enjoied this one nearly as much as the previous action chapter. "I went to look for a watch I didn’t have." LOL! Somehow I found this little scentence humorous. LOL! "I spy!" lolol Priceless. Much humor. And wow...epic trasition from random humor, to dark plot. Verny nice, Cy. And Spaz's intro! Coolioness. You know what was really creepy? Was the second Darth Maul appeared, my music program (on random shuffle) played Dual of the Fates. Creepy... Love it. Please, continue. ;D
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Post by SilverSergyon13 on Mar 4, 2005 8:54:13 GMT -5
Yay!! I cometh soon!! But how?....Hmmm I wonder. Tis'll be interesting.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Mar 5, 2005 14:07:36 GMT -5
very nice little Sergyon fic, ss13. Does this explain the silverness? i read the last a/n like it was part of the fic, to into it to notice the stars...it was an amusing effect that created. ;D
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