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Post by SilverSergyon13 on Mar 5, 2005 14:28:18 GMT -5
Wait stars? I beith confused... ;D
This one doesn't explain the silverness. This was just a little thing I wrote up cuz I was bored. I will put the rest of it, since I have abunch more written. Will come soon.
BTW this story was "supposed" to be 3rd person. For some reason I started it in 1st and just was to lazy to change it back. Strange, since I dislike writing in 1st person, but it seems to be the way I just start out writing. agh. The silverness story will be 3rd person. 1st person is too personal for me.
Oh yeah, in the story, there are a lot of things that are similar to the aliens movie. Such as the Infestation. The serpeants, in my mind, look like the Aliens from the movie. When the characted are "infected", it means that the alien babies were put inside them, and usually they hatch out through the rib cage, killing the incubator, which is the person. However in Shataarah's case, something else happened. Dunno if I'll explain that more or not in the story. I may.
Ok, enough rambling for now.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Mar 5, 2005 14:34:38 GMT -5
at the bottom, where it says "gotta go to class" or something like. the POV is ok...i was thinking some "Alien" references were in there. Serpaents are another species then? Goop.
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Post by SilverSergyon13 on Mar 5, 2005 15:05:36 GMT -5
POV? Confused I am...
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Post by SilverSergyon13 on Mar 5, 2005 15:06:47 GMT -5
NVM, Point of View. All this writer's lingo makes my head spin
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Mar 7, 2005 9:52:28 GMT -5
ok, all is understood. Ask if you need any clarification, you know. I'm liking the fic. Is she really infected?! I wait to see...
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Post by Dûncariel on Mar 7, 2005 14:45:52 GMT -5
'Twas spawned from a dream I had, and written at two o'clock in the morning, so, beyond what is written in the story itself, I can't explain much.
The setting is sort of Matrixesque, as in not really real. At least, that's how I read it in the dream. My dream name was actually Matrix, but that didn't seem to fit with the story line, so I couldn't make it fit.
I don't know if that helped explain things at all, but the point is sort of that the main character has lived this sort of plot hundreds of times, and this is the, I dunno, climax, sort of. The first time that it's been different. 'Twas an odd dream...
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Post by Kora on Mar 7, 2005 22:37:40 GMT -5
Ok, Cy, I've decided to complain. Muahahahaa! Elan! Will you please give the cool dude a blaster? Please? I mean...you make him look weak. I know he's a little weak minded, but...COME ON! lol. Just a random question: Do I really say "like" when I talk? I mean...do I?? And how do I know what time it is? ...I don't have a watch...lol
What is this place?”<br>“If only we knew.” KT muttered. I noticed she wouldn’t look at me.
Eeew! I should've said "I think it's google." lololol
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Post by Spazzy on Mar 16, 2005 18:05:42 GMT -5
Okay, I just read the story of the ESPS.. I had only read the first two parts of the story.. I must say it has lots of coolness!! I like the part you have me in..
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Mar 17, 2005 17:04:09 GMT -5
heh, i was wondering if you would. And you like your reaction? Is it something you would do?
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Post by Spazzy on Mar 26, 2005 16:00:41 GMT -5
I like it a lot! I was wondering how you would enter me into the story but, I like it a lot!! It is totally something I would do...
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Mar 27, 2005 13:11:53 GMT -5
oh, good. Nice description in thy poem, Silver.
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Post by Kora on Apr 27, 2005 21:19:04 GMT -5
Ok...my last review made no sense...*looks at it strangely* ANYWAY! I GOT TO KILL A GUY! LOOP! At least...I think I did. lol. Poor, poor MFB. Heehee. ;D
Oh! Cy, I got a request! Could I have Zelda's sword in one of the chapters? 'CAUSE IT WOULD BE AWESOMENESS BEYOND KOOL-AID! I shall keep bugging you in the future. Heehee. ...Or the past...LOL. Or! Which ever comes first! lolol.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on May 2, 2005 11:12:54 GMT -5
i like the poem, silver. it's got that sense of...reality, like the truth of it behind the words. And it is a question many ask.
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Post by MFB on May 4, 2005 15:04:33 GMT -5
Though I don't have the time for a full review, I love the new ESPS chappie. Twas totally wepic. MORE RANDOM WEAPONS! lolol
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Post by Cy Skywalker on May 23, 2005 11:11:22 GMT -5
So Dun, i printed out your new fic on nice old-looking paper and read it, and it is quite good. The style itself is pleasant, and the description of world unique, leaving some questions unanswered--the system of magic, what exactly the two races are (human? elven?)--which is a good thing, in this case, to keep people interested.
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Post by Dûncariel on May 25, 2005 20:11:53 GMT -5
Bleah...
This is turning out to be a harder story than I thought... It's difficult to write from two character's points of view. Next chapter/thing will be up, hopefully next weekish. 'Specially since it's all coming out of my head... yeach. My notes are so jumbled I can't make much of them... Thanks for the review!
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Post by Spazzy on Jun 7, 2005 18:17:17 GMT -5
OMG!! I love that poem KBD.. I almost started crying when I read it but I love it a lot!
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Jun 7, 2005 18:57:43 GMT -5
KBD, that poem's pretty good. Skilled of you to write from someone else's point of view, and the description of the places, water and stone, was quite good. The words, I thought, could have been more powerful, more different than normal speaking, though the rhythm was quite good and it rhymed...occasionally? I'm not sure if you meant it to or not, but even so that works too. Continue! Spaz, you're poem's pretty good to, though too short! It makes me wonder about what's going on.
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Post by MFB on Jun 7, 2005 23:58:28 GMT -5
Well, short poems can be better than long ones at times. In Spaz's case, I think it was well executed.
I totally got your meaning, Spaz. As I think of it, it might have used a few lines at the end to lighten it up, but maybe you intended it to be dark. But seeing as (if I'm right in saying this) it is a poem coming from your feelings, I shouldn't try to enforce such opinions. Well done.
KBD, your poem watered my eyes. Again, as with Spaz's, I would have ended it differently, but that's just my personal opinion. I'd like to see more of your work.
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kanedbydemons
Jedi Knight Who Says Ni
Humm... Hummm... Hummmm...
Posts: 146
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Post by kanedbydemons on Jun 8, 2005 4:52:40 GMT -5
Thanks, guys. Yeah, I should have adjusted some things - it was actually only a quick one but I didn't want to play with some of the wording because the more I adjust things the worse they get in general. And it wasn't supposed to rhyme when I started but since it did it seemed to work.
And sorry it made you cry!
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